Download or read book Life After Russian Roulette written by Michael B. Kaminski and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2014-03 with total page 334 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “My tired, bloodshot eyes focused on the dark reflection of the man staring back at me. I strained to visualize and reconcile with the person I had become years ago. Bloodstained faces of all the people I had hurt and destroyed in years of undercover work in drug groups and organized crime associations flooded my mind. However, what still haunted me the most was the shooting of one man that we justified as cops. Now, here I was in seminary preparing for final graduation and future ordination. It was like looking into the eyes of a stranger. My life became a labyrinth of distorted loyalties and false realities as an undercover police detective. What I had believed at one time in life about right and wrong, morals and ethics, was now as grey, dirty and hazy as the mirror I was looking into – like painful reflections of my life. I wanted to kill the man that controlled my mind, my body, my soul and my life. I wanted the game to end.” This is a true story based on actual events. My story begins during a long and lonely night in a dingy dorm room in seminary as I contemplated my past and the dark figures – lives that still tormented me from years of undercover assignments as a police officer and detective. Suicide, numbed cold by the warmth of brandy, appeared to be the only solution to finally end the nightmares which drove me toward a desire for ordination. The series of events that follow that long night will take the reader on a winding course of exploration and confrontation through the early days of the police academy, the streets of Western District in Baltimore City, a history making police strike, undercover in drug groups and organized crime, the Pagans motorcycle gang, the docks of the Coast Guard Yard in Baltimore and eventually a shooting that affected my mind, body and soul. After resigning from the police department and working as a private investigator for defense attorneys who had defended most of the people I arrested as a police detective, I find myself detained in the Russian embassy in Washington, D.C. I was running from the reality of life, unsure of the destination. Eventually, after ordination and struggling spiritually to find my faith working in parish ministry, I finally find the one blessing from God that I was searching for most of my life – LOVE. With Sharon, I come to know, understand, feel and find a power of love that transcends all physical forms that most people define love. I find a level of love that was not limited to physical, sexual desires like all my past relationships. However, this love, Sharon, will eventually be taken from me. At first glance, you might think you know how police and undercover detectives work, but you could be dead wrong. Hidden within the plot of this story is a series of inner conflicts, moral and ethical dilemmas and choices that many people in law enforcement make in the line of duty. How an individual enforces the law, many times, is reduced to personal decisions. When you chose to cross the line, when you justify that wrong is right – you walk a very dangerous path in life. Then you deal with the consequences as you wrestle with your conscience. I only hope that, in the end, the reader will find what I continue to seek and search for in life – peace, love and enlightenment.